To My Heavy-Hearters,
With grace I send you my love. I know how it feels to ache, to mourn, to grieve. I know how it’s like to feel weighed down by strong feelings, ones that leave your heart feeling sore and tight. I can begin to understand how burdensome it can be to hold onto heavy emotions, those that keep your feet glued to the ground, whilst flying up to the clouds of thought—stuck.
The heart space is so sacred. It reminds us with waves of pain that our bodies are listening to all the dread we may face in our stories. The times we felt like we were owed an apology, the times we shrank to make an illusion of peace, the times we had to say goodbye to things and people we love.
The sacred heart space is all knowing. It beats fiercely through times of turbulence, taking the hits of life, whilst gifting us with being. It gives us the power to keep going, even if we may carry the baggage of grief with us.
Until one day, sound falls silent and you’re left facing your heart and all the bags you’ve left hanging on it. You begin to notice the bruises, the proof of sadness from times before. You begin to notice the weight your heart’s been holding onto, as resistance battles your steps. You begin to notice the tiny tears and rips your sacred space has endured through the floods of heartbreak when you feel exposed and vulnerable to fear.
Oh my precious heart. I am so grateful for you. In the same breath I am so sorry. I am sorry I have spent so much time dwelling on the feelings that cause you pain. I apologise for carrying with me scenes of nightmares that do us no good anymore.
I know you have held on so tight for me, throwing me a buoy when I was in the depths of the turbulent, crashing waves. But, I can hear you. I can hear that you want me to set myself free. I can hear that you are carrying too much now and it is holding us back. To go up the next hill you need me to release myself from the shackles of distrust and doubt I have adopted along the way.
I can hear that you ask of me to let go. To let go of the memories that take away from the now. To free myself from the still images that strike my memory like thunder, causing me to brace and for you to create a cage of protection. Little did I know the cage would stay, getting stronger and stronger, less penetrable the longer I lived in the prison of fear.
But I know now that those clouds have passed and you don’t want to be caged with imprints of wounds and strikes. I can see that you are asking me to be gentle, yet extremely fierce. You have been telling me to move on, to know I have taken on my lessons and to close the loop.
And so again, with no judgement, yet immense amounts of pressure, you have nudged me down another path. This path is sturdier than the last, still unclear in the distance, but is enveloped with beauty and colour. This path still has an off-road track to comfort. The deceptive route that tricks me into feeling held, but is actually crowded with fear, stagnation and grey. As I walk down the new path, I am told that it might feel like I am learning to walk again, but this time with a new set of legs that hold me up with pillars of pride and purpose.
I feel pressure because I am done with taking hits that only I am throwing at myself. I feel the pressure to treat my sacred heart space with the love it deserves. The type of love that can feel the array of emotions without getting caught in a sticky web. The sort of love that does not have to build a concrete barrier for protection, but instead be held by divinity itself. The sort of love that is ever-trusting of itself, for it to feel safe and comforted on its own.
And so, my loving heart, thank you. It is time for me to transmute the weight I’ve put on you into flames of passion and freedom. I will continue to build you a temple to take home in. One that is permeable to love and understanding of fear. One that is draped in soft material, showered in petals and golden oils and flexible in mind and movement. One that knows past battles happened for me, but do not have to shape my now. One that gives me my blessings through awareness. Oh my beautiful heart, how lucky I am to home you.
To my dearest heavy-hearters. Be compassionate with yourself and acknowledge the journeys you have been on. Take it easy on your heart, one step at a time. Slowly and gently set yourself free from the weight you have been holding onto with the tightest of grips. Take a deeper listen to your heart, it is always talking to you.
Thank you Heart for taking care of me with each and every breath.
Thank you for allowing me to feel so deeply the light of love and shadows of fear, for both are a part of my story and gift me with the knowledge of self.
As I relax my shoulder and take a deep breath out, I intend to release all old loops that no longer serve me and strive for my highest self to live a passionate and loving life.
I intend for you to feel lighter, for my breath to be greater and for me to dance my way through the abyss of the all-loving unknown.
I love you.